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Excuse me sir, would you care for a bat to the head?

Yes, please sir, thank you sir, you are very kind.

3:57am sleep comes not, dreams come not, only thing that does is one million thoughts and the urge for another fag.

My Dream Woman...

A good friend and i have decided to make a list of the things we want in a significant other.

These Qualities are what i need and want in my woman.

Open Minded

Uses the word poop openly and often

creative

has their ears sticking out from beneath their hair

sweet

cooks healthy food, but loves a cheeseburger at the same time

likes to spoon

likes japanese horror

computer savvy

has a sweet voice

doesn't mind getting completely  shit faced

has their own unique style

wears boy shorts / cheekys

can take and give a hard massage

sarcastic

a little crazy

confident

likes to sleep

photogenic

has never taken it in the pooper before but wouldn't mind giving it a try.

If you know this woman then please inform her of my being.